CALL CENTER CONVERSATIONS!!

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND REPRODUCE!!

ACTUAL CALL CENTER CONVERSATIONS!

Customer:    I have been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?

Operator:    Where did you get that number, sir?

Customer:    It's on the door of your office.

Operator:     Sir, those are the hours that we are open!!

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Samsung Electronics

Caller:         Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?

Operator:    I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about?

Caller:        On Page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now can you give me the number for Jack?

Operator:    I think it means the telephone plug on the wall!

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller:        Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling to Australia?

Operator:   Does the Policy Name give you a clue?

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in Europe) 'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?

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Directory Enquiries

Caller:        I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please?

Operator:   I'm sorry, there is no such listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?

Caller:        Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off!

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator:   Woven, are you sure?

Caller:        Yes. That's what it says on the label ---- Woven in Scotland.

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

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Tech Support:        I need you to right click on the Open Desk Top.

Customer:             O.K.

Tech Support:       Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer:            No.

Tech Support:      O.K. Right Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

Customer:            NO.

Tech Support:      O.K. Sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

Customer:           Sure. You told me to 'write' click and I wrote click.

Tech Support:      O.K. At the bottom of the left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'O.K." button displayed?

Customer:           Wow! How can you see my screen from there?

Caller:                I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it again. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?

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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department .......

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect Organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (now we know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:        Ridge Hall. computer assistance; May I help you?

Caller:            Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.

Operator:       What sort of trouble?

Caller:            Well, I was just typing along, and all of sudden the words went away.

Operator:       Went away?

Caller:            They disappeared.

Operator:        Hmm, So what does your screen look like now?

Caller:            Nothing.

Operator:       Nothing??

Caller:           Its blank; it won't accept anything when I type.

Operator:      Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?

Caller:           How do I tell?

Operator:      Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?

Caller:          What's a "sea-prompt'?

Operator:      Never mind. Can you move your cursor around the screen?

Caller:          There isn't any cursor, I told you, I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'

Operator:     Doe's your monitor have a power indicator?

Caller:         What's a monitor?

Operator:    It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tell you when it's on?

Caller:        I don't know.

Operator:   Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller:         Yes. I think so.

Operator:     Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller:         Yes, it is.

Operator:    When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?.

Caller:         No.

Operator:    Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.

Caller:        Okay, here it is.

Operator:   Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer....'

Caller:       I can't reach.

Operator:  O.K. Well can you see if it is?

Caller:       NO!

Operator:  Even, if you maybe put your knee on some thing and lean over?

Caller:      Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.

Operator:  Dark?

Caller:      Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming from the window.

Operator:   Well, turn on the office light then.

Caller:       I can't.

Operator:  No? Why not?

Caller:      Because there is a power failure.

Operator: A power .... A power failure? Aha, O.K., we have got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and the manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?    

Caller:     Well, Yes. I keep them in the closet....

Operator: Good.Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.

Caller:     Is it really that bad?

Operator: Yes, I am afraid it is.

Caller:     Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

Operator: Tell them you are too damned stupid to own a computer!!