He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
he turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker,
but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result
in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The
police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One
hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball
kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep
off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism
it's your count that votes.
19. If you jumped off the bridge
in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
20. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with
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