Washington Post Mensa

Improve your vocabulary !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited 

readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,

 subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders

 the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until

 you realise it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that 

stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, 

unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the 

near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the 

purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit 

and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are

 running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got 

extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off

 all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth 

explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through 

the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem 

smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just

 after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets

 into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be 

cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm

 in the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions

 to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate 

meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight

 one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when 

wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone

 who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by 

proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with

 Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul 

flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn

by Jewish men.

 

 

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