Two-liner jokes

FUNNY TWO - LINERS
  The difference between in-laws

and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

 

  Alcohol is a perfect solvent:

It dissolves marriages, families

and careers.

  A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

A tax is a fine for doing well.
  Archeologist: someone whose career

lies in ruins.
  An archaeologist is the best husband

any woman can have:

The older she gets, the more interested

he becomes in her.
  There are two kinds of people who

don't say much:

those who are quiet and those who

talk a lot.
  They say that alcohol kills slowly.

So what? Who's in a hurry ?
  Alcohol and calculus don't mix.

Never drink and derive
  One nice thing about egotists:

They don't talk about other people.
  There was a man who said,

"I never knew what happiness was

until I got married...

and then it was too late
  Before marriage, a man yearns for

the woman he loves.

After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

 

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