Grandpa and the Income Tax Department - Humour

   Grandpa and the IRS

          The IRS  (Internal Revenue Service) decides to audit Grandpa,

          and summons him to their office. The auditor was not surprised

          when Grandpa showed up with a lawyer.

 

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no

full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money

gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

 

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a

demonstration?'

 

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

 

Grandpa says,  “I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own

eye.”  The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

 

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

 

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite

my other eye.'

 

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

 

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

 

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,

with Grandpa's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

 

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks  “I'll bet you six

thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee

into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere

in between.”

 

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and

decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt,

so he agrees again.

 

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he

strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on

the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's

desk.

 

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major

loss into a huge win.

 

But Grandpa's own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

 

'Not really,' says the lawyer. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me

he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me 25,000 dollars that he

could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy

about it!