THE MAN RULES

THE MAN RULES

At last a Guy has taken the time to write this all down.

FINALLY, the Guys' side of the story.

(Must admit it is pretty good.)

We always hear " THE RULES"

From the  female side ....

Now where are the rules from the male side?

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

(First and Foremost)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You are a big girl, if it is up, put it down,

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday Sports, it is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail....

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work;

Strong hints do not work;

Obvious hints do not work;

JUST SAY IT!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That is what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Any thing we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become NULL and VOID after 7 days.

1. If you think you are FAT, you probably ARE.

Do not ask us.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH.

If you already know best how to do it, then JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER ONE!

1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during COMMERCIALS....

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither WE DO!

1.    All men see in onlFy 16 colors, like WINDOWS 

DEFAULT SETTINGS!

peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. PUMPKIN is also a fruit. We have no idea what MAUVE is.

1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. WE DO THAT!

1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "NOTHING", we act like nothing is WRONG.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle....

1.If you ask a question, you don't want  answer to, 

EXPECT an answer you don't want to hear!

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely any thing you wear is fine .... REALLY!

1.Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topis as football or hockey!

1.      YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1.I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

 

1. Thank you for reading this. YES I know, I have to sleep on the couch TONIGHT!

But did you know men really don not mind that? It is like camping.

 

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN -

TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH.

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN

TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH!!